Warning: Life can be very hard.
OLD DOGS, NEW TRICKS
by Phair
Ash stood perfectly still. She was afraid. Beth was behind her but still Ash was afraid. She kept her focus on Puddles who sat patiently waiting fifty feet away.
“Get a grip, jerk face,” Ash scolded herself. “This is a completely different dog; different breed, different color, different owner.”
“You okay?” Beth asked.
“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” Ash answered in the defensive tone she knew best.
“Well, there are a couple of reasons you might not be so okay. You’re outside for the first time in a while. You’re standing on grass which is not so even making it harder to balance. Then there’s that big dog staring at you. And, you have his doggie treats stuffed in your pocket,” Beth chuckled and stepped around to face Lindsey. “I’d say, you’ve got more than a little to be nervous about.”
Ash felt all her defenses rally, “You makin’ fun of me or something? Is that what you brought me out here for? It that what this is about?”
“No,” Beth stated flatly. “This here in the yard is about you getting some fresh air and getting to know Puddles a bit better. I’m sorry but I don’t really know what your anger is about. I can’t understand it unless you help me, Lindsey.”
Ash was completely deflated by the even handed statement. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what makes me act so stupid all the time.”
“No, not stupid. My guess is, you’re frightened. And, you’re frightened because you’ve learned to be afraid of new people and new experiences. It’s okay to be frightened and it’s okay to tell me when you’re frightened.” Beth gave a big grin, “Who knows maybe once you say it out loud you might not be as afraid anymore.”
Ash gave a hesitant grin. “Fine. I am scared. I could fall or the dog won’t come when I call or he will come and bite me or knock me over and then bite me or I’ll give him too many treats or I won’t give him enough or he won’t like me or you’ll get mad at me or…,”
“Why would I get mad at you?”
“I don’t know. I never knew why adults got mad at me. Except when I started the fire. I knew then for sure but the rest of the time…there never really seemed to be any reason. Everything would be going along then somebody would be yelling and the next thing would be me getting a strapping.” Ash shrugged, “It never made any sense to me.”
Beth was quiet for a moment. “Nothing I can say can make up for your childhood.”
Ash merely shrugged. What could anyone say? Nothing. Except for Puddles who whimpered in the distance.
“I think he’s tired of waiting,” Ash said.
“He’ll keep until you’re ready. He’s very reliable.”
“I think I’m ready,” Ash bite her lip,
Beth stepped out of the way. Ash pulled a doggy treat out of her pocket. Puddles ears immediately perked up and his tale started whipping back and forth in the grass.
Ash cleared her throat, “Puddles, come.”
The dog dashed across the grass at break neck speed. Ash cringed thinking the overexcited dog would crash into her but she held her ground. Inches from the toe of her sneaker, Puddles skidded to a stop and sat; tongue out and tale wagging.
Ash gave the treat a gentle toss in the air. She was still too nervous about Puddles’ sharp white teeth to hand the food over. Puddles easy caught to goody and devoured it whole. Then his ears came down, his tongue came out, and his tale wagged wildly behind him. Ash felt a small joy at her success and reached out to pet the top of the slightly pointy head. Puddles melted into the caress.
“Good dog,” Ash whispered.
“Good work,” Beth placed a reassuring hand on Ash’s shoulder. “Wanna try fetch now?”
Puddles bounded into the air and raced off to find his Frisbee.
“I guess he thought you were talking to him,” Ash laughed.
“Oh, I’ll tell you what you are, alrighty. You’re a God damned selfish jackass! You’re nothing but a disgrace, you are,” Grandpa Stu was in such a state yelling into the phone that he never heard Beth, Lindsey, and Puddles come in the back door. “I’m at my wit’s end with you. Don’t you give me that cock and bull story. I’m old but I’m not an idiot. Will you or won’t you face up to your responsibility?”
The old man paused to listen. With his back to the women, he had no idea he was no longer alone in the kitchen. Both women were stunned by the old man’s anger. It riveted them to the spot they stood.
“You are without a doubt my biggest disappointment. Oh, you heard me right! To Hell with you!” He slammed the receiver into the wall mounted cradle and shattered the plastic casing. “Oh, dear.”
“What’cha doin’ there…Grandpa,” Ash questioned solemnly.
The old man twisted around too fast. He almost lost his footing. He had to steady himself with his quad cane. The old man was flustered seeing the witnesses to his outburst. It took him a minute to think of a lie. There was an uncomfortable silence while they waited, not even the dog moved.
“Dad are you okay?” Beth finally spoke.
“Damn telemarketers. Always calling when you’re trying to sleep,” Grandpa took two steps toward the island in the middle of the kitchen.
Beth shook her head, “We were here long enough to know it wasn’t a telemarketer, Dad. Was it Dylan?”
“Not in front of the girl,” Grandpa was gruff.
Ash flinched at the remark. Her eyes found the floor. She stepped away from Beth and headed for the guest room.
“Wait,” Grandpa commanded in an edgy voice.
He reached out and placed his hand on her shoulder to impede her progress. Ash immediately shook him free. She glared at him out of the corner of eyes but did stop in her tracks.
“I’m sorry, Lindsey. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. I was trying to spare them actually but…sometimes…things get all jumbled up in my head. My mouth doesn’t say what I want it to say.”
Ash gave a grudging nod, “Sometimes I have the same problem.”
“Dad, why don’t we sit down and you tell both of us what was going on,” Beth suggested as she pulled out a chair and sat.
“Ah, what’s the use,” Grandpa tossed his hands in the air. “Yes, I was talking to Dylan. Trying to talk to him anyway.”
The old man put his arm around Ash and this time she didn’t shrug it off. The pair walked back to the table together. Grandpa pulled out a chair. Ash waited for the old man to sit before she sat down herself.
“What did you call Dylan for?” Beth asked patiently.
“I wanted to talk some sense to him. Look I even wrote out what I wanted to say so I’d be all calm and such,” he took several folded napkins out of his shirt pocket and spread them on the table. “Let’s see…I was gonna remind him you were the makin’ of him and how hard you two worked, twenty five years, too hard to let is swirl down the drain. And, I got a piece about Nikki and the baby and four generations under one roof. Then I was gonna give him a man to man about Lindsey. Tell him to step up and be a father to the girl. Tell him the rights and the wrongs and get him to see the light.”
“And,” Beth put her hand over the old hand shaking on the table.
“Some young thing answered the phone all breathless. I told her to put that no good son of mine on the phone and get her ass to a preacher ‘cause she was fornicating…”
“Let me guess, you weren’t all calm when Dylan got on the phone,” Beth interjected with a half smile.
“He starts lying the minute he opens his mouth. I couldn’t help myself. I laid into him like he was teenager. He got no sense at all,” the old man shook his head.
Ash cleared her throat, “What did he say about me?”
Grandpa hung his head, “No need to talk about it yet. He’ll come around. Eventually.”
“Please tell me.”
“He said, he gave her, your mother, money for an abortion so he don’t have no blame for you being here.”
“My God, Dad why tell…” Beth started to admonish Stu but Lindsey interrupted.
“We can be honest, Beth. We should be honest with each other, right? That’s what you were trying to tell me in the yard, right? Nothing is so bad that we can’t still talk to each other. Comfort each other. Right?”
Beth nodded, “Right, Lindsey. That’s what family is about. Being there for each other.”
“Ya, being there,” Lindsey looked down at her knee and notices for the first time Puddles was resting his chin there. “So as long as I’ve got you guys, he doesn’t matter. But, the question is do I got you guys?”
Beth was startled at how young Lindsey looked as she asked the question, “Yes, Lindsey, you got us with you.”
“Absolutely, positively,” Grandpa Stu stated firmly.
